As you can see, this blog has been all sorts of not active over the past several months, much like myself. It's not that there weren't things to share. Yummy food has been made, physical activity has (sometimes) occurred. But for whatever reason, come quittin' time, all I've wanted to do is just that: quit. The thing is, it's not like I've got much better going on in my spare time. So what is this magnetic force that seems to be pulling my ass to the couch and zapping me into a TV coma for hours on end rather than pushing me outside to just do something with my life?!
It's almost as if the goddesses over at SELF (aka my other Bible) were reading my mind. An article in this month's issue: "Do You Need a Five-Year Plan?" really made me sit down and think about where I am now (on the couch) and where I want to be sooner rather than later (off the couch). A chat with the amazingly-always-motivated boyfriend only turned my wheels some more. Why am I letting the things that have always made me happy sit on the back burner and giving the one really large, decent-heating front burner (I have a crappy stove) to endless hours of Law and Order: SVU reruns?!
And it's not just working out or eating healthy. It's my job that I love and fought hard to get. It's getting out of bed and going outside on a Sunday because the weather's nice. It's putting away the 15 pairs of shoes in the living room because every day is an obstacle course when I'm tired of cheating death. It's picking up the gorgeous guitar that I bought and doing more than just re-tune the strings or opening up a Word Doc and writing with a purpose for once. All of these things make me feel so accomplished by the time I lay my head on the pillow at night. Forget following through. Why can't I even begin?!
Simple answer: Paralysis by Analysis (PBA). It's my worst enemy. I have all of these dreams and goals I love to think and speak about. But all this thinking is preventing me from doing. Between the SELF goddesses and my boyfriend, I realized I cannot keep this up if I ever want to be happy with my life. So yesterday, I decided to give PBA the finger and dove headfirst into a work project that's been taunting me for weeks. Opposite of what I feared, I actually made all sorts of headway. Yes, I wound up in the office until nearly 9:00 (a huge deal for someone who leaves by 5:30 at the latest), but I felt so accomplished that I didn't even notice the time flying. And when I got home, I had my 15 minutes of TV time before switching off the set for a nice writing session before bed. The cheesy high it's left me with has me ready to take it all on again today. Has the PBA been defeated? Not by a long shot. But I'm a huge fan of baby steps.
The hardest part is actually starting. If I can just get past the starting line and keep truckin' I'll eventually reach the finish. Aaaand GO!